experiences-and-stories

A Song to Share

Sat, 17 May 2014 23:12:24 +0100

For three years now I hear the Lord's gentle voice telling me to sing and to sing for Him. So I have and it's been wonderful. This encouraged a deeper desire to get better at playing the guitar and piano, or trying to for that matter. I am by no means great at them but I try nonetheless! I guess the point of this post is that after playing the guitar today and singing I continued to remember my best friend of eleven years telling me to share my voice with others because they would be encouraged. Urg. I want to but "I'm not good yet!" I thought. [I still feel like this.] More memories of people encouraging me to sing flooded my thoughts. That is my desire but I am afraid to. I do not feel ready, yet I am compelled to share with you, my reader, a song I recorded today.

I was about to share this song today but then I looked up popular acapella hymns in google, out of curiosity. I listened to songs that gave me goose bumps. Why in the world share this hymn sung by me when others can sing it far more amazingly!? I felt completely unworthy. So, I decided I would keep the song I recorded this afternoon to myself. Until the Lord spoke to me through another friends Instagram post. The photo was of MLK saying, "There comes a time when silence is betrayal." My friend went on to quote, "Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, 'Teacher, rebuke your disciples!'" "I tell you" Jesus replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." [Luke 19:39-40.] My friend's encouragement read, "Profess the Messiah today. Do not be ashamed or afraid. Make known His glory. Don't let a stone be forced to receive your blessing."

So there you have it. No matter how good, off pitch, or bad I sound that is how I came to share this song. I would far more rather trust and obey the Lord than keep silent.

May you be encouraged to do the things the Lord asks of you, even when you are very afraid or nervous. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. The Lord is with you every step you take. [Proverbs 3:5,6; Joshua 1:9]

The song is at the top of the page.
Be encouraged!
I'm scared!
Bye!
=)

A Moment that Kept Me Encouraged - 6

Sun, 20 Apr 2014 03:26:54 +0100

September 2012:

It was that moment when everything seemed to pause for a few seconds. I momentarily wondered if my trainer, Dr. Larry Quade, just said what I though he said. All I remember was his brief pause, body turning around and eyes casually looking at everyone then stopping at me. He voluntarily interrupted his lecture to say this: “the reason we do this is so that we can communicate with children where they are at developmentally.”

I was in shock. For this was not the first time the Lord was making it clear I was EXACTLY where I was supposed to be. The string of events leading up to this point made things ever so clear that I was supposed to be in Dallas learning at this Institute. – The statement he made, the very words, were the words I had been saying to friends and family who asked me the reason I wanted to start a children’s camp. To be honest, every time I voiced my heart aloud, I felt silly for how I verbalized things. I was not exactly sure it made sense to others but it was the best I could come up with. The very simple fact of the matter is that Dr. Larry Quade paused his lecture to insert that very statement which I know that I know was meant for me to hear. It left me with chill bumps and a racing heart; God was and is so AMAZING. He was taking me though His training and equipping for the purposes that He purposed for me to do and I have a hankering those purposes are more than just starting a children's camp.

The reason why that was so monumental as I reflect on my time in Dallas is because things got hard. REALLY HARD. It was ultimately those abundantly clear confirmations from the Lord that kept me from quitting this particular institute. [Along with my commitment to Parkway Montessori.]

A Place to Live - 5

Mon, 17 Feb 2014 18:28:44 +0100

Things were taking shape. My belongings were scattered in many but organized piles around my room. Pausing for a moment I looked around; I recounted fond memories of my time at YWAM Ozarks. Some fully packed boxes held gifts and journals from the few years I lived there. Most often though, the three years felt like several lifetimes. Traveling abroad months at a time, going through and working with Discipleship training schools take you beyond the normal niceties and give you opportunities to make deep connections with people and the Lord. Sometimes making it feel as if your new friends are more of your brothers and sisters than your very own.

Looking down again at my stuff I had a sudden thought. I am totally packing in faith that I have somewhere to live in Dallas! I have no idea where I am going to live! I laughed. All I knew was that I was moving to Dallas for school and that was it.

Immediately I hopped onto my bed where my laptop sat and I logged into my email instead of googling places to live. I guess I did that out of habit. But to my surprise an email from my new employer sat in my inbox. The subject line read, "Fwd: Dallas Cousin with House." My jaw dropped. I opened the email to find this message:

"Robin is a lovely, single woman (40) who lives alone with her dog. I told her about Rebecca's need for a place to live for 10 months and she said she would be very happy to have Rebecca stay with her."

God, you are so awesome! I chuckled, and continued chuckling throughout the afternoon. It had not occurred to me to mention that I needed a place to live, but of course, as fast as everything was happening and changing the Lord was watching out for me and preparing the way.

When I learned where I was moving - 4

Mon, 17 Feb 2014 18:29:26 +0100

It was a late afternoon when I got the email. It read, "Christian School Seeking Teacher." My heart leaped with curiosity. Whhhaat? Lord? I was sitting at a McDonalds table, a rest stop midway between Ozark and Searcy. Lord. Really? This is weird...this meets everything you've been telling me. I scoured the email and reread it twice and the eligibility requirements three times. Lord, this is crazy! Is this you? Hope began to build and then a sudden urgency welled within me to get to the bottom of this. How in the world did a small Kansas City school find our small campus in Ozark? I hopped in my truck with a lot to ponder.

Trying to keep myself from over thinking things I casually drove home and listened to music. Yet the information occasionally came to mind. "Lead our Elementary program. If you do not yet possess this degree, school starts between July and September with an option to earn a Master's degree." I concluded during the drive that if the Lord wanted that position to be my job, it would be so. Lord, it meets everything and more as to what you've been speaking to me. It meets everything. Is this you? It really seems like it. Maybe my sill notion about September was legitimately something.

Well, after much questioning the Lord and seeking his guidance I had every assurance that it was where I was to be.

Lord, if they can't change this one thing on the contract, then I will take that as a sign that this is not your will. The contract was altered in my favor.

Lord, if the institute will not accept me because I do not have their prerequisite of holding a college degree, then I will take that as a sign that I am not to pursue this anymore. The institute accepted me.

Lord???

Looking out my bedroom window, into the rolling hills and blue sky I reasoned:

Montessori education is amazing. Its method nearly matches to a tee what I have dreamt for my future children's camp.
The school is beautiful.
The staff welcoming, too good to be true.
My classroom has windows! Practically ceiling to wall windows! [Greatly important to me.]
I would be free, even encouraged, to incorporate scripture and prayer with the children.
All the material...it looks like a child's dream school!
Why wouldn't I take this job? I would have the opportunity to teach children about YOU!
I would be living my desire to work with children.
I would be trained for this, sponsored to learn everything I've wanted to learn concerning the development of a child.

Thus, I took the job confident it was the Lord's will.

It is only described as a God thing. How on Earth did a small school in Missouri find me in a little town of Arkansas? It was the Lord without a doubt. Even when I was unaware, the Lord was directing my steps. He was directing my employer as she listened to the Lord in starting a Montessori school. Every step we took, whether we knew it then or not, was positioned and aligned for such a time as this. And we, for the most part were unaware. It's not until the "ah-ha" moment or when the pause of "is this really you God?" that occurs that we really begin to see how the Lord has been preparing us for the position or task ahead of us.

It was not without major hardship however that I actually completed the training in Dallas. But that's another story for another time.

When I learned I was moving - 3

Mon, 17 Feb 2014 18:30:17 +0100

It was an Applebees kind of night with friends and fruity drinks. I being 20 at the time could not drink, thus I was the designated driver. Joy and laughter spilled over in my friend's Suburban as we drove under the star blanketed sky, down the backroads of Arkansas.

"A few nights ago I had a crazy prophetic dream. It was weird but so clear." I told my girlfriends. "My students mom along with my director Barb had a very important message for me. 'One', Michaels mom said, was that major change was about to occur in my life. "Two...." Before she said the third thing a dog walked past unaware that it needed to give birth to its pup inside. Therefore it was placed in a contraption where you blew into the mouth and the pup was able to come out. 'Three,' she said drawing my attention back, 'You have a [spiritual] gift that you don't even know you have.' Immediately I wanted to speak in tongues but then I woke up."

"Oh my word. I totally forgot to tell you!" Traci said from the back seat. "The other night I had such an odd dream about you. I was trying to parallel park my car on this hill and there was this guy cleaning his car. After I parked and got out the car, the car rolled uphill instead of downhill, hitting the guy's car. I was so embarrassed. But after that, the Lord told me very specifically to give you this message,'you're not parking here.' That ettled peacefully in my heart. Immediately I just knew it, "I'm moving." I whispered. Initially I was really bummed. The fact was that I was ready to settle down in Arkansas. Make it home. I did not doubt that message was from the Lord. I did not question it. I just knew it was the Lord.

As the months followed the dreams proved to be of the Lord, and boy, was I in for the hardest ride of my life yet.

Surprises and Decisions - 2

Tue, 18 Feb 2014 22:40:24 +0100

I leaned my head against the plane window. It was dark out; I had caught the red eye flight to London. It was December of 2011 and so many things wurled through my mind.

That's so odd Lord. How can it be so similar? Lord, she's missing the point! Everything we believe is almost the same…her heart obviously desires to serve you, the real God of this Earth! The dissecting of our conversation continued. And then transitioned into, "Lord? I feel as if this season of my life is coming to an end. Please show me your will for me. Show me what to do. Where to go. Why do I feel that way? Please Father God. … I also feel as if September is significant too. I don't know why.

"I'm sorry." I heard through my coat, which was draped over my head.

I removed my coat and looked up, "I'm sorry your teacher was mean to you." I paused in surprise, she continued. "You know, when I asked you about college earlier you seemed to shut down." Really? I thought. For she had asked me what I would go to college for. Which I then proceeded to tell her I had some ideas, but that was if I was to go to college. Prior to that question we carried such an easy conversation about our lives. Maybe it was the late hour but the Lord was up to something before I even realized it. I had shared a bit of my testimony when the Holy Spirit prompted me, about how I found my identity and value in Christ. But it was a condensed version, partly because of my nerves and because I was not sure how much to share.

"You would make a such great teacher someday." She said. "You have a kind heart; you know what children need because of your experience." I soaked everything in that she said. Then, as suddenly as she began, she quit and settled into sleep while leaving me to look out the window and ponder every word that had just boldly been spoken. That was odd. Was that you Lord? Was that really you? I felt an odd mixture of excitement and strong curiosity about this Muslim Professor woman, from Chicago, who seemed to be used by God to speak to me. Very odd, I thought. Show me where you want me Lord. Lead me.

I never saw that woman after our plane arrived and we departed. -- When I reflect on this part of my story I often desire to know her address just so that I can write her and tell her how the Lord used her in my life. But, I am nearly getting ahead of myself.

London

Once my team and I were settled into our cozy rooms in the church building and semi-rested from jet-leg, we found ourselves helping with the Sunday morning service. I found myself comfortable by the front door greeting the Londoners arriving in their winter gear. I quickly fell in love with the people, lifestyle and accents. The culture was something like a scene out of 'Mary Poppins.'

Out of left field the Lord surprised me with something else. In walked a family that I was 100% sure I knew. Never am I that confident about knowing someone half-way around the world. I mean sure, I have dreamt of that happening. But really?! It actually happening was astonishing, considering where I even met them. For security reasons I have been asked not to say where we knew each other, however, I can tell you that we met in Northern Africa, hiking through the High Atlas mountains a couple years prior to that cold London day in December. The family and I were stunned. For they were just passing through and were visiting their home church to speak.

Once the service was over the mother of the family sought me out. "I just want to tell you, the Lord has put it on my heart that this was not just a coincidence. But I just don't know what His reason is."

"What did you do before you moved to 'Northern Africa'?" I asked before I knew exactly what I was saying.

"I was a teacher...." She continued talking about her teaching years.

"So, did you want to move to 'Northern Africa'?"

"I was not excited at first. But after we visited I continued to ask the Lord to give me a heart for this people and this nation. He has ever since. I love it there. I call it home." She glowed as she spoke. [She had also been receiving cancer treatment in London too.] I stood before her amazed at the life she and her family lived. After living in 'Northern Africa' for 20 years they were kicked out, along with many others who loved the Lord. Too soon the distractions around us finally drew us apart. I did not feel as if I had the opportunity to give her a proper thank-you or goodbye but her approach to the Lord's calling in her life stuck with me. I began praying the same prayer after that day, Lord, would you please give me your heart to do what you are calling me to do? And the Lord did and has ever since. Whether it's right away or day by day… He has always been faithful.

After talking with her I thought it odd and funny that she was a teacher. I noted that and put it on the back burner. Well, I met ten teachers that afternoon into the evening. No kidding. Finally I took the hint. I pressed the Lord for more confirmation. Until finally I knew without a doubt, becoming a teacher was that "next step" so to speak. But where was my question? What college would I go to?

Arkansas

The story went on to find me in Arkansas pressing the Lord for direction. I had favor wherever I looked. What was I to do? How was I to go about it? Finally, I knew what the answer was. Even though the colleges were seemingly just right for me I called and told both that I was not attending their school. Because one thing was for certain, the Lord had me planning to go to Sierra Leone in August. That trip interfered with my would-be college schedule. I could not justify missing two weeks of college the first time I attend. It just did not seem responsible or wise.

Planning to go to Sierra Leone in and of itself was a struggle. For I really wanted to go, but I did lack the passion. Almost daily I told the Lord that it felt like I was not going. But graciously the Lord made it clear through scripture and oportunities finding me, that I was still to plan on it. I truly gave it my all because of that.

That is another story in and of itself. One that I might write about someday. Needless to say, on the day plane tickets were being purchased, I received a call that changed my life. My beloved young grandmother was extremely sick...and not expected to live much longer. Devistated, I decided that Sierra Leoene will be there. Grandma may not. Even me for that matter! I was headed to Florida instead.

I certainly do not regret that choice. Sure I would have enjoyed Sierra Leone, but those last memories I have of my grandma are bitter sweet. She passed away three months later, just before the birth of her 10th grandchild. It was during those weeks leading up to cancelation of the trip that the Lord threw another surprise in the mix. I was moving to Dallas in September.

A Dream Was Birthed - 1

Tue, 18 Feb 2014 22:39:35 +0100

Somewhere along the way the desire to teach children grew in my heart. "But when was that seed planted?"I have often wondered. I remember my Great Aunt Linda, who was a teacher herself, giving me a brief case with worksheets one Christmas. Boy, I loved that. I even began a school for my stuffed animals and dolls using those worksheets!

As the seasons of my life changed so did my desires. Becoming a wife and mother always ranked my greatest desire yet beyond that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I would read about Clara Barton starting the red cross or Mother Teresa caring for the poor that I would lie awake at night dreaming that someday I would make a profound difference too. "But how?"

When anyone asked me what I was going to college for, I would cringe and say "I don't know yet." It seemed that most of my peers confidently knew what they were doing with their lives, at least majoring in college, but me. Until one day, in a class called 'Care and Prevention of Athletic Injury.'

It was a quiet morning. Most of my classmates put their heads down for a snooze while our substitute sat in the front silently reading. Someone had turned on the t.v. Some got out their iPods and then there were the few of us who read. I did not like those mornings. I loved learning, especially when it came to athletics. Hence, why I took the class. Well, there were several magazines laying near the window and so I retrieved them and began mindlessly reading through them. At one point I paused to look at my peers. I envisioned some of them going off to college and making a great life for themselves. Pickens was headed to be a pro baseball player, get married, have children and be a fisherman. Not that it really happened. I just made things up. I continued to envision my peers potential, or lack thereof, and I asked the Lord, "where am I headed? What do you want me to do? I feel rather stuck Lord. Please, give me some purpose. I have so many ideas, I don't know where to go."

I had ideas like:

becoming a nurses assistant in the maternity ward. I dreamed of praying over the babies and moms, whether they knew it or not. I dreamt of being there for them in their weakest moment, encouraging them to press on because soon they would be holding their new bundle of joy.
I dreamt of becoming a Personal Trainer or Athletic Trainer.
I dreamt of becoming a professional Photographer and even found a school in Rochester, NY to attend.
I dreamt of becoming a teacher but decided against it, knowing that I would feel trapped inside school walls. [I hated the idea of subjecting myself to a classroom with barely any windows and forcing students to sit in desks.]

Looking again at the magazine, I read about a YMCA camp. Then something happened, like a title wave crashing into shore, I knew what I wanted to do with my life! It all played out before me, like a movie trailer. I was going to start a children's camp! I nearly jumped out of my seat and shouted to the roof tops. Nothing, I mean nothing had fired me up like that. That's it! Lord! That's it!!!

When I arrived home I burst through the door as fast as I could. "Mom?!" I yelled through the unfurnished ballroom like entry. It echoed throughout the large house. [That's a story for another time.]

"I know what I'm going to do with my life!" I yelled once more walking towards the kitchen.

I can't remember what she had been doing but she came out one of the rooms and was all smile. "I know what I'm going to do with my life!" I told her yet again.

"What are you going to do?!" She inquired and laughed.

"I'm going to start a children's camp!" I said nearly exhausted. "It's not going to be just any camp. It's going to be a sports camp. It's going to be a camp for everyone. Young and old. I will have lots of land with creeks and hills, even horses. Children are going to be sent from all over to attend. I also don't want it to be a "Christian Camp". I would hate that to be a reason some children don't come. It's going to be a place, where I will be able to get on each child's level and encourage them. I'm going to learn how to speak their language so to speak. I want to inspire them where they are at developmentally. I want to provide a place for them, where they are valued and taken care of. A safe place. I want to speak life into their life! It will be a place where they are active in sports and activities while being inspired to be the best they can be! Where they get to know the love of God through action and are encouraged to dream big dreams and equipped to reach their 'impossibles.' Does that make sense?!"I spewed out, unsure I made sense.

"Wow!" My stunned mom half chuckled, yet sincerely supported me. Ha, I can just remember her large stunned eyes!

Moments later I began a journal and recorded all my ideas. The ideas came faster than I could write. But write them I did. That was my junior year of High School. By the time my Senior year drew to a close I still had no idea what to go to college for. "How does one prepare to start a camp?" I would often contemplate. The fact of the matter was that there were many things I could go to school for. Business, psychology, athletics...etc. But none of it, I mean none of it seemed right. Plus, I disliked school very much. Therefore I had the hardest time justifying spending money, which I did not have, on education I was not certain I should take. Don't get me wrong, I think it's wise to take those courses but it just did not sit will within me, the timing if anything did not give me peace whatsoever.

Well, never would I have guessed I would become a missionary to Africa, South America, Arkansas, Texas and Europe. Never. Never would I have guessed I would drive onto the very land I had literally envisioned when thinking about a camp. Even down to the exact slopes and tree lines. Never would I have guessed that the Lord would have paved the way as He did to give me the most amazing training experience. But that is really a story for another day.